Technology and our relationships

Technology and our relationships

The strain of the information age on various types of our relationships.


Last year, a research by the law firm known as Slater and Gordon revealed that one in seven married persons have considered the possibility of opting out of a marriage due to evidence of infidelity on social media. There is no research which shows the number of platonic friendships which has been ruined by social media. But to assume that it hasn’t ruined a few, would be synonymous to assuming that Ann Boleyn was never beheaded, because BBC didn’t cover it live.

When I hear someone who is not a big fan of online dating say “the dating game has changed” I wince jokingly, then I ponder if it has really changed or we just miss the novelty of meeting a partner sporadically, as we have replaced our face to face interactions with machines. People still meet randomly, but not as much as it used to be just a decade ago.

Before internet dating took off on a very large scale, for sure I wasn’t dating at this time – I was probably a baby lapping on warm colostrum all day and night, or maybe I was still swimming in my father’s prostrate like Michael Phelps, we will never know. But I do remember adults in relationships waiting by the phone just to speak to their other half.

It would be very comical for one to think that scrapping the internet would solve this problem, but we all know that this is a nonsensical notion. Because, correlation doesn’t always equal to causation. This same internet is responsible for the coming together of a lot of couples .A quick google search for the amount of individuals that Match.com has brought together is more than convincing.

Without the internet, public funding domains like Gofundme.com wouldn’t exist. Don’t get me started on the number of old friends and lost siblings that the internet has brought together, not to mention the amount of single dads who only get access to their kids, due to child support quagmire and court injunctions.

Without the internet there would have never been blogging – Heck! This article wouldn’t even exist as the only bloggers prior to the internet era were, the writers of printed newspapers delivered in the morning next to your pint of milk, by a young lad on a bike.

Albert Einstein once said ” The future is an unknown, but a somewhat predictable unknown. To look to the future we must first look back upon the past, because that is where the seeds of the future were planted. I never look at the future, it comes soon enough”, also another quote by an unknown source goes thus ”To look at the future, we must look at the past”.

Why am I typing out the above quotes and not diving head first into the bone of contention you may ask. It is because to understand the influence of the internet technology on marital relationships and also get an understanding of what marriages and relationships were before the advent of internet technology, the past is the only time and basis for comparison and the extraction of facts.

In this day and age, communication between most couples is dwindling. Well, you may ask, how do I know this or is there any statistic to prove this. Of-course, we can’t go from door to door asking couples if they feel that there is enough communication in their relationships – Don’t! As you’d come off as overbearing and unrelenting, like a right wing wacko. Also, we can’t ask to install a mouth piece on there Pj’s or ask to install secret cameras that also pick up sounds – this is real life, not the hit show America’s Biggest Loser.

But movements such as the Men’s right movement(MRA),the Herbivore men of Asia and the men going their own way (MGTOW) movement of the west and the feminist movement a.k.a the Independent strong woman highlights this problem clearly, like an epic science fiction film shot with green screen technique.

With more innovations and other ways of communicating arriving, you can expect communication rate to further plummet – Just think about how many times you sent a text to your other half to say ”Bye” instead of waiting for that individual to come out of the bathroom because you were in a haste. In the past, you would actually make the effort and sacrifice to say it in person, but now you can just strike those buttons on your keypad and get it over with.

In this day and age, a jealous partner who suspects His/Her spouse is not where he/she alleged he is, would ask for an instant picture of the place sent through Snapchat or Whatsapp. There has never been a better time in the dating game – Ask any of your friend that uses tinder.

Another reason is we now bring our work home, instead of doing things that would facilitate bonding .Do you remember Dolly Parton’s coat of many colours? Not that that coat of many colour was the best thing to be produced since shortbread. But the fact that her mother actually took time to knit the coat. Sometimes, technology just won’t cut it, you have to be there in person, as the saying goes ”It’s not the gift that matter, but the thought”.

In conclusion, we all know that the internet era has brought along with it a host of positive contributions. But the question we should all be asking ourselves is, how can we enrich our lives with this tool as opposed to it ruining and sabotaging those friendships and relationships that are irreplaceable and inestimable.

Ben Alecsander
it's always a pleasure to listen to interesting people, with real life experiences different from mine. I live in the city of London, which is a melting pot where you get to meet people from different walks of life.

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