Why is it that we dread the new school year when it can offer you so much...
Although this summer has been some what of a let down, with the bipolar weather we’ve received, we’re sad to see it go. So now welcome September with self diagnosed depression and feeling sorry for yourself.
Yes, it’s now the official school season. The month we’ve all come to hate, goodbye summer and hello pointless homework projects that have no actual contribution towards your final grade, because let’s face it, we all copied off the internet and changed a few words to authenticate it, going into that grey area between plagiarism and originality. Change ‘but’ to ‘however’ and ‘and’ to ‘also’ and so on, it’s a social norm now in the (home)working world.
However, September is not all doom and gloom, metaphorically speaking, no doubt the weather will be literal doom and gloom but hey, there are a few perks to this month. There may not be perks as big as a 6-7 week holiday during the summer period where you can sleep to whatever o’clock and go urinate at anytime without permission but right now any perk deserves to be adored, appreciated and cherished until the cyclical return to summer. So here are a few things to look forward to this new academic year:
1. New stationary
You may not fully understand what the teacher’s going on about, but when looking back at your notes, it’ll be aesthetically pleasing. Nothing’s more easy on the eye than Milgram’s 1965 obedience study summary in multi-colours.
the feeling when I buy new stationary and get organised is how I imagine other teenagers feel when they get high, i’m so sad
— ✽ (@Lauren_Neate) August 31, 2015
That’s right kids, buy stationary instead of takings drugs, amen to that.
2. Seeing all your friends
And without actually having to make plans. Bitching is so much more fun in person rather than over text, so the bitch-squad can finally reunite and you’re free to be who you want to be, not only will they accept your weird behaviour, they will even facilitate it.
3. TV Shows
All the best TV shows come back between September and October, so you can escape to a place where the character’s enemy isn’t homework and early mornings, it’s more like zombies and murders. Also at this time of year it starts to get chilly and it becomes acceptable to stay in, so you can binge watch all your favourite shows returning such as: Brooklyn nine-nine, American Horror Story: Hotel, The Walking Dead, How to Get Away With Murder and so on, the list is basically endless.
4. Knowing your day will instantly cheer up because of that one kid who’s slightly out of it but everyone still likes due to their odd comments.
No ‘et al’ is not a person and you can’t get seagulls that look Chinese!
5. Christmas is closer
Only 112 more days to go.
6. You’re one year older
This means teachers tend to treat you with more freedom and respect, but obviously we still have to ask to use the toilets, nothing speaks freedom like asking to follow through with a natural human necessity.
7. But you’re still a student
So you have the pleasure of half terms, and 2 week christmas/easter holidays, rather than having to save up holidays, so enjoy while you still can.
8. Convincing yourself that this will be your year
You’ll work your arse off for the first 3 weeks, then get bored, but obviously over worry and stress 3 weeks before your exams regretting your protagonists slacker ways, such as knitting or learning to complete a rubix cube and boasting to your mates rather than completing homework and revising.
No doubt there won’t be some entertaining bitch off, real life live entertainment right in front of you rather than on your TV screen.
10. It’s fine to make mistakes
Mistakes will happen in the first few weeks because you’re still “readjusting”, so it’s okay to forget a green book or some homework and teachers tend to be somewhat understanding however we all have a certain teacher that’ll act like you killed her whole family.
All in all, september isn’t all that bad, sure it’s tiring but we’ve been programmed to it since the age of four, if anything we should appreciate and embrace it. If you’re still having the post summer blues, just think of all those other 8.2 billion (approximately) kids having to endure the same as you, remember, “we’re all in this together” – Cast of High School Musical.