Free, single and vegansexual!

Free, single and vegansexual!

Modern dating in the no-meat world......

Veganism is on the rise and with it the pool of potential partners for the animal-free is expanding. Herbivores are overjoyed at the thought of finding a life partner that shares this monumental life choice. Is this a life hack to ensure romantic harmony or a recipe for disaster?

Modern dating is overwhelming, complex and time consuming, singles are seeking ways to filter possible suitors. The internet now dominates the dating world. The slight terror and uncomfortable encounter of asking for a date with a person you met in a coffee shop is long gone. It is replaced with a system that has totally eradicated that coffee shop encounter for ever more. The monopoly of the internet on dating makes every man and woman view a stranger talking to them in a cafe as you would a crazed stalker in a dimly lit alley.

Dating apps contain the tacit promise that you can pre-approve people before any uncomfortable contact is required. Therefore rejection or having to reject is also (in theory) minimised. Photos of the potentials snowboarding, kitesurfing or running a marathon provides us with an instant visual impression of who this person is. Instant is key as you browse during the morning commute, flitting from that to Facebook, to Snapchat and back again. The potentials ‘likes’ (their friends / mom / dog, summer time and holidays at the beach) and ‘dislikes’ (monday mornings, rainy grey days) make you feel simpatico, an affinity with this abstract person. After you have been around the internet dating block a few times you work out the curated virtual person you saw on Tinder or Blendr or Happn is not real. It is a tiny part of that person’s reality. It is the padding, the frills, the icing on the cake. You can get a hint of what might be at the core of that person….but only a hint. 

Wearied daters are turning to their foundational beliefs in a bid to find success and happiness in their lovelives. In a world where we find ourselves with less free time but much more options eliminating choice becomes a positive solution. Limiting the pool can reduce your dating workload significantly.

But will it provide you with an easy lovelife? Hell, no! Many vegans expect that other vegans will mirror their own belief system. But vegan is not a value in and of itself. It is an expression, an outcome of a variety of ideas and morals. This could be the environment, your own health, animal welfare, thinking animals are too cute to eat, or a combination. Within these big ideas are further nuances of beliefs. If you think that dating a fellow vegan will remove all heated debate you are sadly mistaken. Do not expect an easy breezy time all the time. Relationships are hard work. Always have been, always will be.

Vegansexuality offers the potential of many practical relationship problems not even existing in the first place. Which restaurants to frequent and sharing food at home are real issues for vegans dating omnivores. They create tension and can overflow into arguments. Your beloved devouring a steak is naturally a sight that a vegan does not find sexy or attractive! For these plus-points to work for you the vegan partner you select should be matched to you in their eating style too…….are they a part time or a full time junk food vegan, a health food vegan or a raw vegan? Once again, if we are heading down this path the nuances will matter. As a self-confessed health-food obsessed chick I do not want my potentials to be at the opposite end of the healthy eating spectrum. If they are, all of the aforementioned problems will still exist.

For those seeking a soulmate of the herbivore variety services will help you; Facebook singles groups, dating sites and speed dating. It’s all there and proving quite fruitful for some. But here’s the kicker – the numbers just don’t add up. Well, not for the hetero chicks. Approximately 20% of vegans are male. Of that 20% a tenth might be gay. That leaves a mere 18%. By these calculations, even if half of vegan females are straight, there is not even 1 vegan man to every 2 vegan women. And guys…before you say anything….yes, I know YOU won’t have a problem with that! This has led to some vegan men feeling like a kid in a sweet shop. Akin to the single men of LA realising that yoga classes were rich pickins’ for hot dates! Fortunately bisexuality amongst women is on the rise as well as veganism.

In our little world of vegan, as with any small community, gossip is rife! If you are an active dater with many partners be prepared for word to get out. Your embarrassing first date faux pas will probably do the rounds. And you may very well bump into your ex with his new stick-thin beau at Vegfest. Whilst you are scoffing a veggie burger, ketchup dripping down your chin. And she’s all brazilian straight hair, patchouli and vinyasas. Sigh. Such are the perils of dating within a microcosm. Be warned my vegan beauties……go into it with your eyes open and your expectations not sky-high.

Vegan Chef Day
Vegan Chef Day is a personal chef in London. She writes recipes and articles for various publications and her website Day presents cooking workshops, demonstrates at food festivals and works as a consultant for startups. She has been vegan for over 21 years and worked as a chef across three continents. Day lives in North London with her rescue cat Kizzy, a home gym and a garden she is always too busy to look after.


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