Being a pint-sized person can be an extra large struggle.
If you’re 5’5″ or over, you don’t understand what the world is like down here. You can reach stuff on the top shelf of the grocery store and your pants are just the right length.
Do you understand the struggle of using kitchen tongs to reach a box of cereal from the top shelf? NO. You just stand there in your tallness and let us cry into your torso. Because let’s be honest, your shoulder is just way too high for us shorties to cry into.
Here’s what life is like when you’re pint sized – 20 realities of being a short girl:
- Being asked to come to the front when you’re posing in a group photo. That’s because no one can see you back there. And then the resounding “awws” follow from the group. Are you mocking me?
- Sitting in the cinema and praying a tall person doesn’t sit in front of you. Spoiler alert! They ALWAYS do. Now the back of your dome will be making an appearance in every.damn.scene.
- You’ve been climbing the kitchen counter to reach the top shelf since you can remember. This effectively makes you a professional kitchen parkourist.
- Buying groceries you already have because your tall roommate cleverly stored something on the top shelf. So you mean to tell me I could’ve been eating Cap’n Crunch instead of stale wheat bran this whole time?
- You’ve made shopping decisions based on your height. I’ve passed on clothes from the top shelf because I can’t find a staff member to help me, and I’m too embarrassed to jump for it. Although I did use a stiletto to cleverly knock a purse off a top shelf at H&M the other day. You’re damn RIGHT I did.
- In a full car, it’s assumed you’re riding bitch (i.e. the middle seat in the back). Just because our legs are shorter doesn’t mean we don’t like windows too!
- If your height has a half-inch in it, you make sure to mention it when you’re asked. How tall am I? Five foot two and a HALF, thankyouverymuch.
- Getting separated from your friends in a crowd can make you hyperventilate. That’s because finding someone in a crowd is impossible for shorties.
- Concerts are pointless when the audience is standing. Oh great, I guess I’ll just imagine what the band looks like playing.
- You may not have realized, but everyone can see down your shirt. A top that seems to have an acceptable amount of cleavage to you is actually a free show of “the girls” to taller people who are looking down at you.
- Public transit is a struggle. When you’re standing on a bus or subway, you immediately look for the vertical hand rail. The top hand rail is laughable.
- You can’t wash the top of your car because you can’t reach it.
- Your pants are always too long.
- Getting up on to a stool requires mental preparation. Chairs are slightly easier but we’re used to our feet dangling.
- People think it’s okay to pick you up. Seriously, I will kick you in the shins. Stop.
- People think it’s okay to use your shoulder as an arm rest. Unless I know you well, you will get the “I will cut you” face from me. This generally results in a swift removal of said arm from shoulder.
- Winning at limbo every time.
- Wishing heels were more comfortable. If stilettos didn’t make you want to gnaw your own foot off after a few hours, you’d wear them more often.
- Hugs are always awkward. Tall people either have to stoop down to our height, or you end up with a twisted neck and a face full of their chest.
- What you lack in height, you make up for in personality…and volume. Short girls learn very quickly that we need to be just a bit LOUDER than everyone else in order to be heard. Louder, and charming as f*ck.
Despite what others may think, we like being this size. Being short has its struggles but we wouldn’t want to be average in any way, including height. Besides, we wouldn’t have had to develop this huge personality if we didn’t need to work harder to be “seen” in these smaller bodies.
So go ahead, shorty! Be your badass pint-sized self.