5 ways to get laid on a night out

First of all it’s not all about getting laid - love and companionship are also very important - but for those who are in dire need of a shag there are some sure fire methods to follow in order to pull.

1. Get out of the house

You aren’t going to meet someone new sitting in your y-fronts watching Game of Thrones re-runs every weekend. Although you may be comfortable you aren’t going to get any sex unless you’re looking to self-service. Make an effort; have a shower, put some decent clobber on, put some aftershave on and look hot to trot. Only question is do you call a wing man in or do you go solo? Probably best to talk one of your mates into the equation and I’ll explain more later.

2. Locate the bar

Now there’s no point going to the trouble of getting ready and leaving your house just to go to the local old man’s pub, unless your pub is hipster / young professional territory. Otherwise all you’re going to get is middle-aged drunks and rougher than sandpaper older women, and neither are sight you want to wake up to… trust me. You need to go to clubs and bars where the ratio of boys to girls is more likely to be 50:50 or at least 2:1. Any more and it’s a sausage fest. Make sure the clientele suit your tastes. You can usually find this out by the type of music they play or which area you’re in.

3. Be the party

There’s no point standing around waiting for things to happen, however I’m not talking about drunkenly approaching every member of the opposite sex - that never ends well. We are talking about enjoying yourself. This is why - as discussed earlier - it is best to have a wing man with you. Perception is key. If you and your friend are able to create a carefree atmosphere between the two of you, what will happen is people bounce off of you. People become curious and want tot get involved. if you and your friend are having the times of your lives and not focussed on starring down every girl you see you might find that they will want to stare you down. This method NEVER fails.

4. Isolate your target

Have you ever watched Mean Girls? Do not approach groups of girls, they are like a pack of wolves who will stick to each other and bat away unwanted attention. The only to nullify such a group is to be in your own group which is easily as big, therefore separating each member at least momentarily. If you are alone or with a single friend it is important to coax a girl away from her friends in order for you to have the opportunity to win her over. This is why number 4 is so important as you can literally put a trance on a girl just by being perceived as the life and soul of the party people want to be around. Another great way to isolate your target is at the bar - help her get served, give her a smile and talk about the night - just don’t jump straight in. Another place to isolate your target is near the toilets (slightly risky as can be deemed pervy) or in the smoking area (providing she smokes of course).

5. Be bold or don’t let go

If you happen to have her time and attention you are doing well but don’t do a Steven Gerrard and let it slip at the last minute. Both of you may have consumed a lot of alcohol by now. This is the most laid back and loose she is most likely to be EVER. Whilst dancing or talking to her you need to stare into her eyes and lick your lips. I know this sounds corny but it works. You need to create an animal attraction in which she feels compelled to rip your clothes off. Again corny but it’s how it works. Move in for the kill. Ask her where she lives. Tell her where you live. As the night wears on she is going to have to make a decision: does she go home with you or does she go to her home with or without you? Either way you are now up for consideration. As closing time nears people are often so drunk that they often lose their partner as they go toilet or seek the opinion of friends. Don’t let this happen. You need to be stuck to your partner like glue, you’ve gone this far and if you keep your wits about you there is a chance you will get laid.

CONCLUSION

The best thing to do is have fun and not overthink it. If you relax you will often find that things fall into the place. Try not to overthink it, rather just be aware of your surroundings and how people react in scenarios. If you begin like a gentleman there will be more scope to end like a legend. But if you want to get laid tonight you need to leave the house full stop.