Last night’s Celebrity Big Brother show saw the much anticipated eviction of former Teen Mom reality TV star and sex tape extraordinaire (obviously) Farrah Abraham. Much anticipated because she was considered to be the witch (bitch) of the house. In fact, last week, after her fake eviction, her remaining housemates jumped on her bed singing, “The wicked witch is dead.” So it must have been true.
The crowd had been baying for her blood (if she indeed has any in that cold vessel she calls a body) from the beginning after she had countless run ins with her celebrity housemates. She had it out with former funny man Bobby Davro, Natasha Hamilton of Atomic Kitten fame, James Hill off the last series of The Apprentice and American Austin Armacost who dated Marc Jacobs or something.
This eviction show was billed by Emma Willis as an “eviction showdown”, an “eviction with a twist”, the “fight for survival”. It was mainly none of those things but yes Farrah and her fake bum and boobs were booted out of the house.
The recall of the day before featured an exhilarating full monty, performed by James and Austin for Loose Women’s Sherrie Hewson (are there anymore Loose Women available for CBB? Yes there are I’ve checked). She didn’t have to pay them though as it was all done in celebration of hers and Stevie Rithcie’s (X Factor car crash tied to another X Factor car crash in Chloe Jasmin) joint birthday.
After acting like a tit all day, as usual, Chloe Jasmin sounded like she gave her birthday bf hooded relief in the bathroom, with the eternal words of “there’s lipstick all over” still reverberating in my ear drums, coupled with Stevie panting like he was in a really bad soft porn movie. Luckily we could not see a thing.
Other noticeable actions from the night before included the ever-growing homoerotic love affair between Austin and James, with the former dry humping the latter on a bed.
But back to the eviction. Emma Willis entered the house to provide the eviction twist. The public were able to save four housemates via the usual processes of vote to save. Austin, James, Natasha, Stevie and Chloe Jasmin (one housemate) were those to be saved. Those four were told by Emma to stand randomly behind four plinths. Those plinths revealed numbers on them. Those numbers then determined which saved housemate would go in-turn to save one of the remaining housemates of their choice still up for eviction. This would leave one who had not been chosen and therefore was next to leave.
Each remaining housemate had an opportunity to do a speech and plea stating why they should stay. Janice Dickinsen (still the first ever supermodel) gave a rousing speech about wanting to be saved by “the queen” and “The Beatles – totally missing the point – but it was funny at least.
Natasha chose Sherrie, James chose Janice, Stevie and Chloe saved Bobby. Austin was last and had the biggest decision of all having to choose between Jerrah, aka Farrah and pornstar hall-of-famer Jenna Jameson.
He chose the lesser of two evils and Farrah was ejected from the Celebrity Big Brother house. Shame, because I actually liked her (or fancied her – I have seen her acting credentials) because she was so ‘no holds barred’, back to the wall, balls on the table viewing that she made it worthwhile.